`Even though' is an expression to show the adverb clause of concession. As a result, the word `though' is added.

Adverb clause of concession.

The word `expertise ' is a verb, but here it needs a noun, `experts'.

"Between sth and sth' is an expression to show a range, it is similar to the expression `from a point to a point'.

It needs a relative pronoun, `who' to introduce a subject of  the adjective clause.

`Raise' refers to a physical actions that the movement can be seen, like `raise your hand'.However, the word `rise' refers to the natural phenomenon of the world, such as `the sun rises in the East, or the price rises.

It needs a relative pronoun `which' to introduce a subject of the adjective clause

The word `Government' can form a `compound noun'. It cannot be a possessive adjective. The use of possessive adjective can be applied to living organis

It takes an adjective after `smoking is fashionable' not a noun.

The third person singular in number after the subject, a singular verb is used,`the latest campaign includes.

The conjunction `that' should be omitted because it is followed by a phrase only a clause `young women in a discotheque rejecting prospective dance pattern'. In the extract, there is no verb.

The verb `emphasize' is a transitive verb, it directly takes the object. If, it is the noun `emphasis', the preposition `on' is likely to follow, such as `The school put a heavy emphasis on the teaching and learning English.'

It needs a full verb here, not a participle. The sentence should be `A new law states that ......

`If' is added before that statement `their premises are used for the display of advertisements promoting smoking' because it gives a condition of fine or imprisonment.

`Applies for' sth means ask for sth. such as apply for jobs. `Apply to' means concern. Here, the prohibition concerns shops. Therefore, `for' is replaced by `to'.

The subject of the sentence is `the advertising' not `cigarettes',therefore, a singular verb `is ' is used.

The preposition `on' cannot be omitted after the phrase  `the radio'.

`Even if' introduces the adverb clause of concession, and the adverb ` even' is emphatic. Since it is an emphatic here, the word `if' should be omitted.

After to infinitive, it cannot be followed by a participle, but a verb stem