Pop stars
Currently, there is a boom in pop and film `stars' in Hong Kong, and their roles are influential in society, especially to the younger generation. Actually, the `stars" do provide us with great excitement and entertainment. Paradoxically, behind the facade of their vivid performances, it is a real ordeal for the young souls. Undoubtedly, one can find much support for this.
Though some argue for the `idols', their viewpoints cannot stand before truth. Some say that these stars have the right to privacy, have the right to be respected as individuals: and no one can stop them from doing what they like. In fact, they are not only concerned with their own affairs, but also are depressing the minds of the audience. Although they have the freedom to fight for their own careers, they should never be permitted to contaminate the young souls. That is not their right.
The message transmitted by pop singers ruins the souls of youngsters. In fact, pop stars do not do great harm to the youngsters physically by means of their pop songs. What the stars sing is dramatically different from that of earlier decades. Pop stars will never become `classic' singers. This is because the words of the current hits often transmit misconceptions about sex, love and freedom. Many boys and girls are enticed by the beautiful performers. Moreover, they are also captivated by all these harmful messages. The young tend to develop romantic relationship and to experience sex during their teens.
Pop singers do badly and film stars affect more adversely the teenagers. The audio and visual effects of film triggers teenagers to imitate the actors from the stage or film. In addition, young people can be easily excited by sex and violence films. The more they love these films stars, the more they imitate them to be the `heroes' or the characters as shown. This trend is one of the reasons for the rise of triad society and sexual abuse among youngsters.
In addition, popular stars are `idols' among their fans, but what they appear to be is just a facade. They charm the young generation and provoke them to abandon their studies and moral standards in order to follow the `teaching' of the `stars'. Nevertheless, the songs and films create false images of the real world and eventually confuse imagination with facts in society. This force will be reactionary and dreadful enough to ruin the conventional ethics.
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All in all, the current role models of the super stars in Hong Kong cannot appear to be wholesome to the young. They prefer to live in a selfish and inconsiderate way in exchange for money and prestige. They also give out absurd ideologies to pollute the minds of youngsters. It is high time for the educators to take actions to counter-balance the tide of this sub-culture. We should try our best to raise our opinions for having good pop stars models in order to break the fantastic spells of the young. The stars must set good examples of behaviour for young people, or they must be cast out!
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Analysis of the essay:
1. Content
The writer supports the view that pop stars have the obligation to provide a good example of behaviour.
1.1. His argument
1.1.1. The second paragraph
The viewpoints of the idols cannot stand before the truth.
1.1.2 The third paragraph
The message transmitted by the pop singers ruin the souls of youngsters.
1.1.2. The fourth paragraph
The audio and visual effects of the film trigger the teenagers to imitate actors.
1.1.3. The fifth paragraph
Popular stars are idols among the fans but what they appear to be is just a facade.
2. Style
2.1. The use of lexical set
2.1.1 The use of negative connotation
2.1.1.1. The second paragraph
badly, adversely, violence, triad, abuse
2.1.1.2 The third paragraph
idols, charm, abandon, false images, confuse, reactionary, dreadful, ruin.
2.1.1.3 The fourth paragraph
depressing, contaminate.
2.1.1.4 The fifth paragraph
selfish, inconsiderate, pollute, absurd ideologies, refractory, spells, cast out.
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2.1 The use of antonyms
2.1.1. classic/ hits
2.1.2. false / real
2.1.3. false /imaginary
2.1.4 reactionary /conventional
The use of the antonyms shows the contractive viewpoints of the writer. It is forceful to use antonym for argumentative essays.
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2.2 The tense of the essay.
2.2.1 The opinion of the writer should be written in the Present Tense.
2.2.2 If the writer uses a past event as an evidence, the past tense should be used.
2.2.3 In order to play save, the writer should use all in the Present Tense.
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2.3 Cohesive devices
2.3.1 Development of Cause and Effect
2.3.1.1 Questions with why are often asked and answered. This shows that causal analysis is common.
2.3 1.2 Sound reasoning or logic is naturally the most important quality of any casual analysis. But it is not always easy to explain causes and effects clearly and logically.
2.3.1.3 One reason for this is that an effect may have any number of causes and a cause may have any number of effects.
2.3.1.4 In presenting causes and effects, we should try to be objective. Overstating and understating our position would only make the analysis unconvincing.
2.3.1.5 It seems convenient to state the effect first and then explain the causes. The reverse order, however, is preferred when one cause leads to various effects.
2.3.1.6 An example of cause and effects
The pop stars will never become `classic' singers. It is because the words of the current hits often transmits the misconception about sex, love and freedom. Many boys and girls are enticed by the beautiful performers, moreover, they are also captivated by all these harmful messages.
Cause:
1) the words of the current hits transmit the misconception about sex, love and freedom.
Effect:
1) boys and girls are enticed by performers
2) they are captivated by all these harmful performers
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2.4.Use exclamation mark to show the seriousness of the writer at the end of the essay. `The stars must set good examples of behaviours for young people, or they must be cast out!'
2.5 Vary the sentence structure in the essay.
2.6 Don't repeat any words or phrases in the essay.
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The most important point of writing the essay
The writer has to let the reader see and hear as he or she describes the facts to readers. The writer should not give any opinion or judgement without substantial evidence. Therefore, the writer has to use specific terms rather than the general terms.
3.1 The organization
3.1 1 Introduction
3.1.1.1. State the fact of the situation of the question and the thesis statement.
-a boom of pop film stars
-influential in society
-an ordeal to the young souls
-the thesis statement
Paradoxically, behind the facade of their vivid performances, it is a real ordeal to the young souls. Undoubtedly, one can find much support for this.
3.1.2. The writer's viewpoint :
The viewpoints of the idols cannot stand before the truth.
His/her counter - argument: a pop star should have his/ her own privacy, but not to contaminate the young souls. Since he/she is in favour of pop stars having good image, he/ she should put his/her own counter-argument in the second paragraph in order to show he/she is not biased; he/she is objective toward the viewpoint. Being objective is important in writing argumentative essay.
3.1.3 Transmit misconception to the audience
-the words of pop songs
- captivated by all these harmful ideas
- develop romantic relationship and to experience sex during their teens.
3.1.4 Imitate the pop stars from the stage or film performance
- audio and visual effect
- excited by sex and violence
- the rise of triad society
- sexual abuse among youngsters
3.1.5 The pop stars charm the young generation and trigger
them to abandon their study and moral standard.
-create false images of the real world
-confuse imagination with facts in the real world
-reactionary and dreadful
-ruin the conventional ethics
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3.1.6 The conclusion
An evaluation of the effects of the pop stars
-appear to be not wholesome to the young
-live in selfish and inconsiderate way
-money-minded
-absurd ideologies to pollute the minds of youngsters
Suggestions
- educational field take action to counter-balance the tide
- set a good model to the young
- to break the fantastic spells of the young
5.1 The use of comparison and contrast
`The more they love the film stars, the more they imitate the `heroes; or the characters as shown' The comparison of the love towards the film stars to the imitation of the characters of the film shows a close relationship between the imaginary world of the film story and the real world.
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Checklist for writing an argumentative
1.1 The propose of writing an argumentative essay
a) To convince others to agree with his point of view, to approve a policy or a course of action that he proposes, or to do something that he wants to be done.
1.2 the special features of the essay
a) a well-defined theme
The theme of an argumentative essay is often stated in the first or introductory paragraph. It is called a proposition if it is put in the form of a simple declarative sentence in the affirmative, such as `The role of pop stars is influential in society' or `Smoking is harmful to one's health.' For the sake of unity, a short essay needs only one theme or proposition.
b) Argument
State the counter-argument in the second paragraph, and state arguments after the counter-arguments. The ratio for the counter arguments and arguments should not be greater than 2:3.
In this essay, the ratio is 1:4.
b) Substantial evidence
The proposition of an essay has to be backed up with substantial facts, examples, statistics, reasons, or opinions of reliable authorities. Varied evidence is that what is clearly and directly with the view it is to prove.
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c) Good logic
It is obvious that good logic is even more important to argumentation than to any other type of writing. All the facts and reasons that are given as evidence should be logically connected with the conclusion and with one another.
d) Clear organization
A typical argumentative essay consists of three parts : an introduction which identifies the discussion; a body which presents the evidence; and a conclusion in which the proposition, if it is stated at the beginning, is reaffirmed.
e) An honest and friendly attitude
To argue is not to quarrel. The force of an argument does not come from abuse, sarcasm, exaggerations, or fierce attacks, but from solid evidence, logical reasoning, and careful analysis.
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